What's the best way to be a supportive girlfriend to a guy who has just begun a long journey to quit drinking?

I'm 24 and he's 26. He has been drinking a lot (atleast a 12 pack 5 days a week) for 2 years straight. I can't tolerate being with him when he's wasted because he gets crazy but I love being with him when he's sober. He wants to quit to keep me because we are in love. What should I do? How can I truly support him?What's the best way to be a supportive girlfriend to a guy who has just begun a long journey to quit drinking?
Good for you for wanting to support him.

I hope he is quitting for his own reasons, not just for you. If he quits just for you, it probably won't last.

Suggest AA - alcoholics anonymous - almost every city and town has meetings - ask him if he wants you to go with him for support. You can go to ';open'; meetings; ';closed'; meetings are just for the person in recovery.

He needs to be sure to get the right level of help - medical help when he first stops drinking (like the same day), counseling to see if he might need to go to a hospital or rehab.



These are all things that you can SUGGEST to him, but you can't MAKE him do anything. The best support you can give him is to stick with him and be patient when he has to go to meetings rather than spend time with you. It sounds like you already have the makings of a great support person. Just don't become his sole source of emotional support, don't become his counselor. He needs some sort of mentor or sponsor, someone who has been there, knows what addiction is like, and is in recovery.



If he's still drinking or starts again, and you can't tolerate being with him when he's wasted, then don't be with him. Leave. Set limits and boundaries, even if he's ';trying,'; because knowing he might lose you may be a motivation for him to stay in recovery - again, you shouldn't be the ONLY reason for him to quit, but it can help him see that he is going to lose things that he loves, to hit bottom, and that can help.



God bless and good luck.What's the best way to be a supportive girlfriend to a guy who has just begun a long journey to quit drinking?
Just don't drink, and stay away from events that involve drinking. It works.
You can go AA with him. Or if he checks into a rehab, be there for all the visiting hours.
Tell him how you feel, and listen to what he has to say about it. Find out why he does it and see if you can help fill the void.



Remember though, those who don't choose to allow help will never be helped. So don't waste to much of your life on someone who will not change by themselves even with aid.
Always tell him how good of a job he's doing, keep his moral boosted. But if it should ever happen that he goes back to drinking, don't blame yourself!!! Quitting and stayin off the booze is his decision and his alone
He should be going to AA and ALANON would be helpful for you in all your questions and any curves thrown your way. Give him positive comments and empathize when he wants a drink, but make it clear that he has to be continuing his sobriety. Also, if you are just friends, but may be more, make sure you take your time in moving on in the relationship, for both of your sakes. He can replace his addiction with you and neither of you will be happy.
opkay sweetie calm down i know this is hurting you and it is going to be hard. i just went through this with somebody whom i was with for the past three years so i know what your going through. just a little hint sweetie if he is doing this just so you wont leave him it is not going to work. he has to want to stop for himself not for the relationship. i tried doing what your doing. like always he went back to drinking.now that we are not together any more he still wants to stop drinking for our relationship. he may love you sweetie but he has to stop drinking for himself or it wont work no matter what you do to try to help.
He wants to quit because he wants to keep u? Heard that story before from the jerk my sister married and later divorced. He needs to quit for HIMSELF and for no other reason. Good luck. Sorry if I sound harsh but trust me im well versed on the subject of alcoholism.
The answer here is obvious and that is that he needs to get into an AA program and on your end there are plenty of programs that you can attend also. Talk to someone from your local AA and they can let you know. But again if he really is serious about quitting he really needs the support from AA and has to be willing to go through the program if he wants to get and remain sober. Good luck and God bless.
I'll say what everyone else is already saying, ';You can't help someone who won't help themselves';. Yes, it is a HARD battle, one I've personally went through also. It is one of the hardest things in the world, to overcome addiction, but, it CAN be done. I had to step back and take a look at my life, to realize all of the people I was hurting, most of it, unintentional. He definately needs to join a support group, like Alcoholics Anonymous. You have to re-arrange your emotional outlets. For example, when you guys get in an argument, he wants a couple of shots, right? He has to learn to channel his emotions in another way. I started out going for long (sometimes REALLY long) walks, to try to clear my head. I had to drop all of my ';friends'; who drank. He'll have to do the same, because temptation makes you very very weak. You CAN help him, but just let him know that you are there for him. Schedule activities that are in a non-alcoholic environment. Don't be too pushy, and don't throw up your relationship every time he fails. It takes more than just time. It takes commitment and understanding. Good luck to the both of you.
go to AA with him