JUST BROKE UP WITH MY BOYFRIEND! Did I do the right thing? Help :(?

I have been in a relationship for 5 months with a 25yr old guy who works and lives about 1.5hours away from me. So it is similair to that of a long distance relationship, however on weekends he comes down here and stays at his parents which is 20mins away.



Most of the time I try to go up once a week to visit him, I am a 20yr student without a job so I have alot of spare time and can easily do that. Recently however I have been more busy then usual and I started to feel a little left out of my boyfriends life. He is a very social person, and most weekends when he comes down he has alot of plans with friends. Sometimes he goes to things that I am not invited to, but in the same token I also attend friends birthday that he isn't invited to either. However, I have felt increasingly left out and unappreicated. I feel as though I am convienent for him and that he doesn't make me a pirority.



I tried to be paitent and have my own life, but sometimes I felt as though I would have to twist his arm to make plans with me. I'd usually spend 2 of the 3 nights he is here, with him. It started to really hurt me about a month ago, when I started to see other peoples relationship and the scarifices they would make for their partners. I felt as thoguh my partner didn't compromise his social life to include me.



I spent most of this weekend with my friends and goign out socialling. My boyfriend got quiet upset about this, cause he usually prefers me being at home with no plans then going out. I spent that time away from him to think and gain some perspective. I told him we needed to talk yesterday and he started to get concerned. I went over today and broke up with him because I felt we didn't spend enough time together.



The thing is that I wanted to try make it work, but we had the same conversation before and I knew that I had to be strong and make a decision. However, it still hurts and I still want to be with me. I just know that it is not good enough anymore and it's hurting me.



When I told him he was very devasted and just wanted to let me think about it. He said that he knew that spending time with me was always goign to be difficult because he lives in another city, and he can't see me as much as he would like to. At the same time I feel as though he should have tried harder. So, I had already decided in my mind that I needed to make a clean break and he recogonised that he couldn't convince me otherwise. Then he asked me if I had cheated on him on the weekend (which I said no, becasue I didn't and couldn't do that to him). Then he just said I was the best girlfriend he ever had and how much he would miss me and how it as the worst thing that could happen. He just hugged me while I cried, then I had to go before it got too difficult. He tried to kiss me and said he call me tommorrow, but I told him not to contact me again.



He still wants to talk about it, but i really don't think he can change. I feel as though I want to be with him still, but I know that it would hurt me. I think I did the right thing, although I still have such strong feelings for him. I am not sure what to feel or think, I just feel shocked and broken. And I know I will question whether this was the right thing to do. What to you guys think?



Love Izzy :'(JUST BROKE UP WITH MY BOYFRIEND! Did I do the right thing? Help :(?
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http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?鈥?/a>JUST BROKE UP WITH MY BOYFRIEND! Did I do the right thing? Help :(?
We can't really tell you whether you should have done that or not. It's your decision.

You have done it already. Don't be nostalgic. Everytime you're upset concentrate on WHY you broke up with him. you did it for a reason
u should give him time to explain let out his feelings,if u really miss him then go back to him
you answered your own question sweetie ';I just know that it is not good enough anymore and it's hurting me.'; :(



NEVER compromise yourself for less than what YOU feel YOU deserve!!! It's going to hurt for a while, maybe a long while, but it seems as tho he has no time for you. If he did, he would spend all the time he had coming up to your area to be with you. It hurts, I know, been there done that, but take this time away from him, grow, heal, and look at the relationship you had in a different light. Talk to a friend, a family member, anyone who can tell you what THEY see. You are looking at it right now with a broken heart and mind. Let yourself heal and find someone who WILL FIND the time for YOU!
just talk about it and if you miss him and still like him go back out with him!



help me with mine please i really need it :(

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you did the right thing.

it sounds like he was taking advantage of the relationship. you had to be free so it when he was free he could see you but when you had plans he gets annoyed. guys don't understand that there shouldnt be a double standard! no matter what it is.

sometimes it takes something, like you breaking up with him, for them to understand.

do you really like him?

it seems like when you broke up with him he realised that hes going to miss you and was taking advantage of you being nice all the time.

if you still like him you could give him another chance. but, wait a day atleast before talking to him (don't wait to long tho). and then tell him that he was using you and that there can't be a double standard between you. if he says he understands and will change give it another go-but if he dosnt change then he probly never will
If the guy doesn't respect you leave but deep down you still love him so either you talk to clear things up or leave.
First off you both should be doing things together when he goes down to visit, what is this that you aren't invited, or he wasn't invited BS?!? You are a couple and couples do things together, you don't need to be invited to know you should automatically be invited because you are the other persons boyfriend or girlfriend. Any type of long distance is going to be hard and take a lot of work. An hour and a half isn't that bad if you truly want to make things work, life does get busy and no one said it would be easy but it's possible. If he's going out with only his friends when he comes to visit and expects you to stay home, that isn't right. Why should you have to stay home if he isn't inviting you to hang out with him on the weekends. You are still young but you need someone that is going to want to be with you all the time, especially in this situation that he doesn't see you very often. If you were the best girlfriend he's ever had (as he puts it) then why wasn't he spending the time with you instead of going around hanging out with his friends and not even inviting you?



I think you did the right thing. If you aren't happy and you have had this conversation with him before and nothing has changed then it's more than likely it will never change. You deserve someone better. I know it hurts now, and you wish you could be with him, but if he really cared for you or loved you, this wouldn't have even been an issue. He wants to still talk about it, because men/women want what they can't have. He didn't think you would actually break up with him, so now he doesn't know what to do. Move on, and find yourself a real man! You can do much better.



xo,

kristin nicole





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hey again izzy!!...ive looked at your situation a few times when your q's pop up on my contact list and its always been hard with this guy hey......it seems u make so much of an effort and he dosnt and this early in a relationship should be rosy!!!!......u sound so sweet always and just have a break and see in a couple weeks how your feelings still are.....u will think a whole lo clearer havin a break from him coz it sounds like uve tried hard 2 make it work with him and he never seems 2 meet u halfway in alot of things!

a break will make u realise what u want eather way....it hard bein away from someone at the best of times but its 4 the best honey!........keep socialises and be with good friends and it will make the hurt a lil less painful!!.......your from bris huh???....me sunshine coast!! xxxxxxxxxx
Hi Izzy,



I understand what you mean, but your playing with fire a little here, I am in the same relationship i sware- but you feeling disconnected from him is not his fault, breaking up with him because you feel he doesn make enough effort wont make him want to see you more.



I know because I use to do this- my bf is 2 hrs away. I did that whole freak out think if he didnt see me and always asked what are you sacrificing, i sacrifice and i miss you and i want to live together and you make it work, but whats so wrong with him doing what works for HIM?



You are two individuals- He is just living his life, seeing friends, he is ballancing him life out, as you should- us girls get wrapped up in a man and just want them at whatever cost- losing our own friends and life- so this is really good for you, you are the type of girl that gets a bf like you have- and thats it, nthing else matters you want to sleep eat and breath them, but men are NOT the same, he is NOT you, you -are two differet people, different likes and dislikes, don't break up with him to try get him to see and want you more, I can see you maybe want him to go ';oh **** she just broke up with me and chase you and tell you he sorry he will try harder, and then do so much to prove it, chase you and make you feel adored- but that would just pass- you need to get use to it just being the way it is, you willl get hurt doing that babe xx I know, ive been there-



If you wanted to make it work babe, you talk about that quiet room, face to face, NO distractions, and know what your saying don't go on a tanget telling him how he feels, you DONT and CANT possiable know how he feels, you are NOT HIM. xx



I understand you feel left out and unappreciated, but babe, thats your issue, its your insecurity, if it wasnt with this guy, it would be another xx sorry i hate saying it, dont EVER EVER cmpare to other peoples relationships and what they do for each other, you have NO IDEA what goes on being closed doors babe TRust me!! NO IDEA!!!



The key s being TRE to yourself lie to him, lie to others, but YOU cant lie to yourself, if you got what you wanted and he did just want you when you wanted himt o want you but at his own accord right, when wpuld you both make friends? you need friends iny our life t make a relationship work,





I dont know him, but im sure he appreciates you :) surely he does xx your special iny our own way,a s are all woman, and he shouldnt have to sacrifice his social life to prove it to you babe xx



He is a man, they have physical differences to woman, hormones we dont even have- he does NOT feel or think the way you do, or any woman for that matter- If you feel unappreciated and really want to make it work, figre out how to make it work- ask him for what you want exxactly, knwoo what you want, when you dont know what he can do to make you feel appreciated- then how can he possiably know? he cant read your mind- and no he doesnt need to work it out you have the prob not him in that area xx



regarding this sentence ';I feel as though I am convienent for him and that he doesn't make me a pirority. ';



No girlfriend is convenient- your not no matter how much you think you are :P dont ever think on that, you have to understand that you are a pirority otherwise you wouldnt be HIS girlfrind, he would just sleep with youa nd not give you the honour of the gf label, what can he do to show you this?



work out what you want, how you want it and simply tell him, in simple wods, whenyou start telling him too much at once their brain short circuts, be precise to the point simple, and figure it out, but as his girlfriend, dont break up with him to do this is you love him, you too need to appreciate he is a individual and doesnt like allt he same things as you and you need to accept him the way he is and make it work, you just gave up babe xx