Thursday, October 21, 2010

My girlfriend of a year and a half just broke up with me. how can i get her back?

Okay, I'm going to provide the full scoop. Please bare with me.



My girlfriend of a year and a half just broke up with me due to how I've been treating her over the past few months. I realize now that I've been very dickish to her, being selfish and not doing much for her. The thing is, I want to buy her things, but not to give her material, just to show her that she means something to me and that I am going to show her through jesture and meaning of the gift.



I'm crazy about her. She helped me quit a horrible lifestyle of being a total pothead and she helped me get my life together and for the first time, I achieved honor roll in school, but not just honor roll but distinguoshed high honors (all A's).



Currently, since I've been treating her badly and pushing her away, she landed in another man's arms. this man and I are somewhat good friends and I can't stand the thought of them being together. But the thing is, she doesn't want to get rid of me as I don't to her, but she claims she needs her space and that I need to change for the better and get my emotions straight. I feel akward around her because right now she just wants to be friends. I want our sparks to come back and I want to give her the love she deserves.



One thing that peeves me (and I try not to let it get to me) is I'm scared of her having a physical relationship with him. I would also find it very hard to come back to her knowing that they had done something unmentionable (I'm sure you know...). Also, although I'm am sickened and ashamed of it, I think of sex more than I wish I did. But this comes from a horrible couple of years from my childhood that still haunt me to this day.



I am 18 years old as is she. I'm one year behind her in school and I'm due to graduate from high school next year. I still have lots of things I want to do with her as a couple and not just friends.



Also, I just want to point out that she just bought a house and she bagan moving things in today. Now, where I was supposed to be the one to help her move in, mow the lawn, and other things, she now wants the other guy to do. It pains me, because all that was supposed to be my responsibility and I was looking forward to it and it makes me kind of angry.



Well, this is all I can think about but it just about sums up my issue. Sorry its so long but I needed to put in every detail about how I feel. Please, can somebody help me here?My girlfriend of a year and a half just broke up with me. how can i get her back?
Hey, I feel your pain, I was just in a similar situation (though without the other male in the picture)

I think what is best for you to do is to, and this is something you'll think you already did, but why not listen to her?



She wants space, let her have space. Don't blow up her phone, don't ';try'; and talk to her. If she talks to you, remain friendly and cordial, but don't over do it. Don't offer to help her do anything, and don't text/call her unless she text/calls you. She's going through a little phase right now where commitment is scaring her. She is eighteen, she's been with you for a while and wants to see what else is out there, and that is OKAY. It's okay because seperation makes the heart grow fonder.



You need to take another bit of her words to heart. Change. People like you and I don't start out ';bad'; or neglectful, I'm sure your a very loving man (though like me, its probably only for her) Sometimes we forget that women won't always tolerate our a**hole moods. Really try to improve upon yourself, think back to what the number one thing that you did was that made her angry or upset. Really strive to change yourself, and show her it, without telling her. If you've gotten out of shape, tone back up, she will notice and secretly will appreciate your effort.



Now, I know your worried about this other guy, and if their relationship will get physical, but let me tell you, women do not leave because of physical things. (Unless they are slutty, but she's been with you for a while, so that isn't the case.) They leave because they feel deprived of emotinol nourishment (I.E.-You being a d*ck) Change your ways, be friendlier towards people (yes, It kills me to) be sure she knows about what you do, if you can, but don't force it into her ears, remember, your trying to get her back, not impress her, the best way to get her back is not words. Do not ask her friends to tell her something.



Most importantly, and probably should of said this first. DO NOT CRY TO HER.

You are a MAN. Who can she count on in a tough situation when you are crying your eyes out when she leaves for a bit? I know it hurts, and crying by yourself is fine (yes ladies, we do it on occasion) but don't force your emotions out, don't walk around with your head down. It's okay to say that it hurt when she left to your friends (and in turn she may hear it through the grapevine) but don't make this an episode, and don't play the blame game. Getting a girl back takes time, dedication, and work. If you love her, its worth it.



Also. Do not mention/attempt to have sex with her. Sex = for people who are together, not people who just broke up.



Remember: -She needs time to realize that its you she wants, thats why she is looking at other guys. -Be friendly and cordial, no anger or hostility, but don't be her buddy buddy, that'l get you stuck in the evil FRIENDZONE. -Work on yourself, changing yourself is the key point in getting her back.



I wish you the best, and hope that you get your girl.My girlfriend of a year and a half just broke up with me. how can i get her back?
I guess all you could really do is just have a big talk with her.



Lay everything out on the table, how your feeling now, how you want to share things together as a couple, how she has changed your life and made you so happy.



Do something cheesy also. Maybe send her a flower or two, as cliche as it is. My boyfriend and I broke up last year for a week and I missed him so much.. I bought a nice box and filled it with everything that has memories. (Ticket stubs from concerts we went to, shot glasses from places we traveled to, pictures, stuffed animals, etc.) and I gave it to him.



The most important thing is that you get everything off your chest. Leave nothing unsaid, tell her everything of how you feel.



If she really cares and you make her know that you really will treat her amazingly, she should consider going back to you.. But honestly, if she doesnt.. maybe she's just too caught up in this new guy... Just leave it be?



You've improved your life so much, you don't need to let this drag you down.
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