A guy blinded his girlfriend (abuse), then she MARRIED him?

I read a news story about a guy who blinded his ex-GF, then he went to prison (he was obsessed with her).





She, blind, finds herself all alone. She calls herself ';damaged merchandise';. She was 31 and had no romantic prospects. Her disfigured eyes made her unattractive.





He gets out of jail, keeps writing her letters and finally she relents and has dinner with him. They eventually get married. (This was an old news story that came out about a decade ago.)





Here is the question:





I find myself in the exact predicament, except I am not blind. I am, however 40 and am also ';damaged merchandise';. No guy will ever want me. I am in pain because i am so lonely....i have literally no one. I also have a disability which makes me unlovable.





IF I WERE IN THE EXACT SPOT, I WOULD HAVE MARRIED HIM TOO. Is this sick? Is this why people keep going back to their abusers?





Apparently their marriage has a happy ending, but during the story people were outraged that she would go back to him. But does anyone have any idea how painful loneliness really is? Have you ever been completely alone, staring at empty walls?A guy blinded his girlfriend (abuse), then she MARRIED him?
Your question bothered me. I logged off and then logged back on, because of thinking about you and wanting to send you a message. Don't compare yourself to that couple again. You are a special and unique person. Your abuser has beaten you down, mentally, spiritually and emotionally. You have to build up each of those pieces again to make yourself whole. There are many people that can relate to the pain you are describing. But don't despair. It will get better every day as you begin to work on yourself. You are worth it. Go get some help at a women's shelter , support system. Take care of yourself and nurture friendships and helping others. Always remember, that YOU come first...because even if you found another guy- he could be another one with issues and hurt you. So be careful and be kind to yourself. Start healing by reading, going to church..etc. No man is worth it. Plenty of very miserable marriages. Be glad you have your freedom and piece of mind. Whatever your disability is, that is just one factor of you.. it doesn't define who you are totally. When you change yourself on the inside, you will feel so much better.. the lonliness will begin to get less and less. You will be amazed, one day you will realize that you aren't even thinking about it anymore!! Good luck.





Please do not entertain ideas about returning to the abuser. It will get worse.A guy blinded his girlfriend (abuse), then she MARRIED him?
the documentry on that case is named ';crazy love'; i think. the woman was soooo beautiful before. and he was rich and married. i was obsessed with the for about a month after i saw the doc.......but they have been married like 30 years and they are both so eccentric they match. but i think she was just tired of being alone





if ur tired of being alone i dont think thats sa good enough reason to go back to someone who hurt you
My dear I was a single mother for 11 years and I do understand loneliness-get yourself out and doing things that will work for you with the disability -go to the gym, join a club, take up a hobby and get off the pity pot-you attract more people when you are happy within and out doing things that are fun.Don't use the disability as an excuse not to make new friends and meet new people. Go for it!
You are not ';damaged merchandise';, hon, I'm sure of that.





You sound like you are very depressed and have very low self-esteem. Forty is NOT old, especially in this day and age! Some people are just starting to have children at forty nowadays!





I suggest you go to counseling. Wouldn't it be great if you felt better? Seriously, I swear you can!








*EDIT* Mark M, take your own advice! And, here is a nifty little trick, SKIP THE QUESTION IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT!!





Good luck! Don't be so hard on yourself...Also, have you considered dating websites like eharmony or something? Might work for you, plus you get to know people before you meet them.
I don't think you should ever short change yourself...no matter what your situation is. You are a person too. Just because you may think you are 'damaged merchandise' doesn't mean other people think that way too. Give yourself a chance here! Get out, get a make over or a day at the spa to increase some much needed self esteem, and start socializing! No one has the right to abuse someone else, verbally or physically, and going back to that person just gives them the sense of total control over you, and that is unacceptable as far as I am concerned. Give yourself a chance...you never know who maybe out there looking for a person like you!
life is all about choise. you are born who you are, disability or not, but you have the choice to not be lonely and make an effort to get out there and meet people. You are the only cure to your loneliness, if you are waiting for someone to come running to you then that is why you are still in the same predicament.





You are lonely by choice, disabled or not, there are many places and groups and people in the same state as you but you yourself need to make the effort to want to get out of this rut. Your playing the victim card, and nobody wants to be a mother/father to a vicitim. we all want someone strong that compliments us and supports us... so get yourself out there an decide on your own how to get out of this. standing around feeling lonely hasn't worked so far, so do something different.
Written by a true person where the lonely victim ,once gone from sight ...in the case of a death......the money goes in the writers hands!! Great story line though ...you tried!
Decorate those walls, honey! You first need to learn to live and love yourself FIRST!!! You're obviously not happy... find who you truly are before you feel the need to be involved with someone who may not be what you are looking for. When you are happy with yourself, you will find the right person that fits right in there with you.
You are not unlovable, That is some crap that has been drilled into your head by your abuser. Please seek professional help to deal with your dependence on your abuser. You are better than that.
don't listen to that wanker Mark. He's a wanker.....





Anyway.....yes a lot of people marry the wrong people due to loneliness - nobody will ever admit it, but you will be surprised how many people do it. When you do that, though, you are taking a huge risk. Because once you are married, chances are you will still be lonely.





It is far better to be lonely and single, than lonely and married - that happens a lot too.
I don't believe that you, or the woman are/were damaged merchandise.





First of all, you aren't a material good. You are a human being. Secondly, being 40 has nothing to do with anything. I'm 40. 40 is great!





I hear you say you feel damaged. That's a real feeling and I won't dispute it. But sometimes, when we're feeling something really strongly, we can't be objective about what is really going on around us - we're too caught up in what we're feeling to consider whether it's rational or not. Nobody should ever feel damaged if they don't have to.





Can you find someone to talk to about what's going on in your life? A family member, friend or counsellor? It would be such a shame for a woman at the peak of her life to continue to feel badly about herself and wish to continue to be abused (in whatever form that takes for you).





Yes, I know how painful it is. Yes, I have been completely alone. I've been horribly victimized, but I refuse to be a victim. Please - find some healing through therapy.
that's one reason women go back - not the only one - it's 99% insecurity - but it comes in different in different forms


as for you - i'm sure you're not ';damaged merchandise'; you just need to get your confidence back - therapy is a great thing for a lot of people - it can't hurt to try


good luck!
She nor you are damaged merchandise. You're human beings who deserve, need and desperately want love as much as the next woman. You may have a disability that limits things you are able to do but it doesn't make you unlovable. I know you've heard this said before but it is true that there is someone for everyone, you need not settle for anything less than you wish for, you are your worse enemy, if you choose to believe these negative things about self and live your life as if it were true, I guaranteed you'll find some no life to come along and treat you as such. You have to love yourself first to know love when it's offered to you, a real man will want you and will treat you like the queen you are. Yes I have been alone (by choice because I want what I want and wouldn't accept less)but not lonely. I had no problem with enjoying self, truly being good to self cause there was no one else to do so. If you close yourself up inside and away from the world how will you ever know what lays out there possibly waiting just for you?First you need to get in touch with self and get help mentally, after that you'll be able to see the world and self from different view point and know that there are many options left to you. Find a support group or some volunteer service that you could participate in, you'd get help and help others at the same time, also perhaps meet others who thought they were destined to be alone. Good Luck in pursuit of your happiness. You'll find it.
It was commonly accepted that a woman is wired to have a family, be satisfied sexually, and raise kids. Plus, a human being is also wired not to be alone. He/she must always have someone in their lives. Most woman have their weddings planned and kids named pick out by the time they are 10 years old.





When someone is ';past their prime,'; they get ';desperate and extremely lonely.'; When a person's choices are practically none, they tend to go for the first person that expresses any interest. Even if that person is an abuser.





I do think it is sick, and I do think it is wrong, and I do believe that there are many singles out there (guys) who are really nice, sweet, lonely too, and they want a nice sweet woman in their lives as well. Women are just looking in the wrong places. According to some statistic i read, over 45% of couples met at a bar, or some sort of club. That is a bad mistake. Bars and clubs do not exactly squirt out nice guys. Churches, non profit organizations produce better loving soul mates.





Also, low self esteem also plays a role in this as well. If a person thinks of herself really low, she limits her options. When a person thinks positively, her options are much bigger.
It sounds like you really need some help for emotional issues. You were put here on earth for a reason. You are worthy of being loved, but you have to learn to love yourself first. Yes, loneliness is painful, but you can get out and make friends. It might not be the same but it is much better to surround yourself with people who care about you and are good people instead of one person who is abusive.





Btw, we are all ';damaged merchandise'; and nobody is perfect.





I heard a great story recently about a person who received a gift and at first she thought it was horrible. The gift was this bright bag that looked childish She was irritated and wondered what the person who gave her the gift thought of her to give her something that childish looking. When the person that gave her the gift said ';I hope you like it, it cost a fortune and celebrities are buying this bag'; all of a sudden her impression of this bag changed and she started to like it. Her impression changed simply because the gift giver was able to give it value just by telling her it was great. The same works with people. If you think you are horrible then people will see you that way, but if you think about your good qualities you will realize there is something lovable about you and so will others.





Please make a list of all the good things about you and read this list to yourself everyday.
get involved in a bible preaching, fundamental bap. church and find out why God made you,
well this is a messed up story but sad. that obsession is very unhealthy. for him to do something like that is crazy.that girl shouldntshouldn'tbe feeling sorry for herself because that is whats bringing down her self esteem and confidence and thats why she is finding no romantic prospects. my advice to you is to be strong dont let the negitive get to you because that is unhealthy and that is whats hurting you your disability shouldnt be controlling you .that perfect someone for you will love you for who you are and they will understand i believe there is always someone out there for everyone sometimes you got to be patient and not desperate the time will come when its right. you should never go back to somebody that has hurt you that is not love no matter what thats not love.being desperate is only making yourself weaker and your only losing. dont lose your respect as a women.lonlyness can make you go crazy in the head and i understand that you just have to think streight and know whats right dont give up to easy. theres help everywere for anything . if you really want to find someone right for you you should go to eharmony.com or those websites were they find your perfect match it saves the trouble.
if she is blind, how is she reading his letter's ?