My girlfriend cheated on me and is now pregnant (Long Question)?

Please either take the time to read the entire question, or don't answer. Thank you.





Here's the deal. I am 25 and my girlfriend is 23. I have a college education and a stable job in an office environment. I understand the ramifications of having sex. Please don’t give me any answers like, “You shouldn’t be having sex if you aren’t ready for a kid.“ I am fully capable of supporting a child, I just don’t want to, especially if it isn’t mine. If it is mine, I will support it.



I've been with my girlfriend about 10 months. We've known each other about 3 years. She decided we should take a break on or around March 15th and we broke up on March 30th of this year. She went to the doctor yesterday (not an OBGYN) and he said she was approximately 5 and 1/2 weeks pregnant. I just found out today that on the night we took a break or possibly the day after, she got drunk because she was feeling upset and wound up having sex with this guy. (Her roommate’s brother) I’ve met this guy twice, he knew we were together.



--It is my opinion that there are no such things as drunken sexual accidents. I've been blitzed out of my mind on many occasions with girls who wanted to have sex with me and I didn't do it. I don't believe that you can accidentally have sex with someone. I'd like some opinions on this. Back to the story.--



She doesn't know exactly what type of test the doctor performed but they were urine tests. Neither she nor I can remember the last time we had sex. Without knowing the specific type of test, I realize it's hard to determine a margin of error but I'm hoping the someone on Y/A will have some expertise in this field and could maybe help me out. I don't remember if the most recent time we had sex was more than 6 weeks ago but I know we haven‘t had sex since on or around March 15th. I've been straining to remember this all day, I just can't. Neither can she. Obviously there is a chance that this kid could be mine. We were not using contraception, just doing the pull out method. There was never one time when I finished inside of her. I realize that sometimes the ejaculate kind of squirts out of the penis before the orgasm itself. She DID have a period in March, starting on the 8th. I know there is a remote chance of being pregnant and still having your next period.



I want to know how I should proceed here. I’ve looked at prenatal paternity tests, but that’s still several weeks away and I don’t know if she’d want to do that anyway. This guy is a deadbeat. He already has a kid, no job that I know of, etc.. Your typical trailer trash kind of guy. My girlfriend has had a troubled life. She isn’t trashy, I think she just makes mistakes because of what she witnessed growing up. Her family of origin is full of chaos, and to some degree I guess I should have known something like this would eventually happen.



I’ve repeatedly asked her how she could do this to me, how she didn’t realize what she was doing, all the usual questions you would ask in this situation. All she could say was I was drunk, I made a mistake, and I’m sorry. As you can imagine, that’s not good enough for me. I’ve treated this girl like a princess. Her last boyfriend cheated on her with her best friend and now she turns around and does it to me. Do you guys consider this cheating? Technically we weren’t together, but it’s only one day apart at the most.



Now for the really messed up part. Last week I contacted her telling her that I wanted to work through our issues. She said she felt the same way. We spent the week together from last Wednesday the 8th until this Sunday the 12th. She stayed at my house 3 nights out of 5 days. The last thing she said to me on Sunday was “I love you. Call me tomorrow.” Then on Monday she avoided me all day saying she wasn’t feeling well. She said she went to sleep at like 8 pm. Same story yesterday. After she went to the doctor, she said she was feeling crappy and tired and she went to bed at 6:45pm. And I truly don’t believe that she would have ever told me she slept with that guy if she didn’t turn up pregnant.



But as much as all this hurts me, I still love her. Should I try to salvage our relationship and be supportive of her pregnancy even though it may not be mine? What if I do stay supportive and then it’s not mine…do I just walk away from her? I’ve always wanted my own family one day, I just don’t want to be with a girl who already has kids. Nothing against girls who do, I just want to start a family with someone who doesn’t already have kids. What if we don’t try to work it out, and it does turn out to be my kid. I don’t want to put my child through the stress of being from a broken home. I came from a broken home, and so did every single on of my friends. Her parents got divorced, then remarried, but based on what I know of their relationship, they should not be together.



I really appreciate your help with this matter. I will award best answer within one day's time. If you feel coMy girlfriend cheated on me and is now pregnant (Long Question)?
Well, let's start with why you guys took a break. Did you initiate the 'break' or did she? Was it a heated argument that led to the decision? The reason why I ask is because as a woman I feel compelled to tell you that if the girlfriend initiates a 'break' in the relationship she is really just keeping her options open. She wants to see if there are other guys out there, but is too scared of losing what could be a 'good thing'. That could explain why she ended up in bed with another guy so soon after the 'break'. And since it's someone she knows, it's safe to say she pretty much planned it or at the very least knew this guy wanted her.



As for the pregnancy, there's no easy answer to that. It's entirely possible that your father, but in my experience with the pull out method it's unlikely if you are as smart a guy as you sound. My husband and I practiced the pull out method for over three years successfully because he knows his body and his limits (he's 27 years old). I became pregnant on birth control when he was actually ejaculating inside (we welcome our unexpected surprise). I don't believe in the pre-ejaculate theory, there is no valid scientific evidence to even suggest that live sperm are in pre-c*m. It really just acts as a lubrication for intercourse. Women who become pregnant from the pull out method have partners who never truly pulled out! This scummy guy, who I'm assuming she also had unprotected sex with, is a more likely candidate for paternity and it sounds like she knows it.



I can completely understand why you want to support her and work things out, especially if this child is yours. At this point, all you can do is go on your instincts and feelings until paternity can be resolved.My girlfriend cheated on me and is now pregnant (Long Question)?
If the child isn't yours, you will resent it all your life, and her as well. Don't make up your mind on what to do until you are certain that this is your child.
if u truly love her u wont walk away from her! i kno that she had sex withn som! else but u all wern together and im sure she really regrets it! also since she is pregnant dont put her through any more stress than she is already in. i kno its hard on you but i doubt it is this other guys kid and anyways he means nothing to her obviously if she had sex with him while she was drunk! i am 33 weeks pregnant and my baby daddy broke up with me the night i told him i was pregnant it was the hardest the i have ever been through and i was heart broken but we are slowly working things out and we are best friends we were together for 3 yrs and we still dearly love eachother dont leave her if u truly love her she needs u now more than ever %26amp; i know its gonna b hard to hear this but if you can be a better dad to this baby than tht other guy than u would mean the world to that baby i know that sounds lik a hard thing to do but if it is the other guys and you know he aint gonna support the baby than you step up and support the baby and support the girl u love! i hope this helped and gud luck!!!
hey,

well to start off i am no expert whatsoever but it seems like you are in a bit of a ditch,



if it is your child and you are willing to support it, you should talk to her and try to work out if living together and staying together for child's sake is a good idea. if you don't love her or have any reason for staying together then it will obviously not work even if you want it to, but if you love her and will accept a lot of what goes on the relationship for the child that is great and you should of you can.



the guy she is with sounds very bad news. he might be a great guy but if she doesn't remember what happened and it all comes down to a drunk night full of sex then is he really worth it and would she of slept with him if she wasn't drunk? i agree with you that there is no such thing as drunk sex, you do remember what happened and i don't think you can forget a thing like sex, even if you are drunk



i think there is a small chance that the child could be yours but if it has been that long since you guys had sex that you cant remember then im not too sure, don't take my word for it thought.



maybe if you explain to her that if you are the father you are willing to support the child and will help her through the pregnancy even if she doesn't want you there but i really do think if you are the father you have to help out the child no matter what you think of the mum.



so after all the ramble i think you just need to find out if the child is yours and if it is be there to support the child and the mother, if it is not yours then give her support if she needs it but don't make it entirely your problem as it isn't but still be there if she needs. because you have been in a relationship with her i think its important to support her and allow her to talk to you about what has happened.



i hope it helped, it might be just a long ramble on and if so im sorry...



good luck :-)