Why is it that when a guy asks you out, you guys are immediately boyfriend/girlfriend?

Or at least where I'm from, when a guy says , ';You want to go out.';

You guys are totally official already.

I don't want that. I want to get to know a guy and go on DATES first before becoming official

How do I let guys know that, that's how I want it and not offend them?

The guys I dated all think I'm ';Playing'; with them now cause I told them I don't want to be their girlfriend yet.Why is it that when a guy asks you out, you guys are immediately boyfriend/girlfriend?
The words boyfriend and girlfriend mean different things to different people. Geography and age affect it, too. Maybe you're using a different definition than the guys are. In my school, going out means you're called bf/gf and you can't go on dates with anyone else. But you can break up pretty easily and quickly. I've had friends that were bf/gf for only days before they decided it wasn't working. It's not a huge commitment. You don't even have to kiss or go places together or tell a lot of people if you don't want it to be that serious. If that's the definition the guys are using, you might want to just use their word for it instead of trying to explain that bf/gf means something more serious to you and you're not ready for that yet. It's only a word. It doesn't affect the seriousness of the relationship. If a guy defines gf as someone who likes him and is willing to give him a try, refusing the label because you define gf as someone committed and in love will just confuse him.



But if the issue is that you want to go on dates with multiple guys until you get to know one of them really well, and they consider that ';playing';, you might need to adjust your behaviors to your environment's dating standards. It's not that you're wrong, it's just that it's too hard to change a lot of people's ideas about how romantic relationships work. You can accomplish your goal of getting to know a number of guys and getting serious with one you really like within your environment's system. Just ';go out'; with guys who ask you, be faithful to them for the week or two you spend getting to know them, and then either dump them nicely with an ';I gave it a try, but I just don't think we're right for eachother. I still like you as a friend and I think you'd be a great bf for a different girl.'; or get more serious. You just can't go on dates with a bunch of guys at a time, since people where you are seem not to accept that. Again, it's not that you're wrong. Dating a number of people casually to get to know them before making any kind of commitment is a sensible way of doing things. It's just that changing a whole group's social mores about dating is hopeless.



Good luck finding someone special however you go about it.Why is it that when a guy asks you out, you guys are immediately boyfriend/girlfriend?
i guess when he says, ';do you want to go out?'; you could reply ';yeah i wouldn't mind going out on a date with you on friday night';. hopefully it will clarify things for him. :)