Serious question about friends: Once a friend lies to you, how do you get the trust back?

My little sister has a friend that she, at one time, had romantic feelings for and vice versa. They resolved to stay friends for whatever reason. Throughout their friendship, the guy told my sister that he did not have a girlfriend, and she assured him that it wouldn't matter to her if he did. He still maintained that he did not. She was hanging out with him the other day, and his friend slipped up and mentioned the guys girlfriend. The guy tried to cover it up by saying ';Oh Kate (an ex from a LONG time ago), that was awhile back';, then shot the guy a dirty look. The friend didnt (or didnt care to) take a hint and said ';No, Monique, the one you are dating now';. My sisters friend was just mumbled something under his breath, then tried to avoid her most of this week. Now he tells her other stuff, and she doesn't know that she can believe it.





So in essence, my sisters friend lied to her about having a girlfriend, even though it wouldnt have mattered to her, and now she is having issues trusting what he says to her. She asked me for advice about how to gain trust in him again, and I told her I have been through similar things and that I NEVER instilled 100% trust in the people that have lied to me like that.Serious question about friends: Once a friend lies to you, how do you get the trust back?
Yes, I have been through this before too. First off, I am sorry for your sister. Its a terrible feeling to find out that one of your friends has been lying to you. Secondly, I am sorry to tell her there is a good chance she will never trust him 100% again. Once a friend makes a major lie to you even if its something that doesn't matter to her, the trust is broken. In your mind, you start questioning everything he says from this point on. You wonder ';was he telling me the truth'; every time he says something. And you also wonder especially in her case ';what else is he hiding from me';. Sometimes over time, a person can regain more trust with you from being honest and being very open with you. But only over time, usually a number of years will you ever really be able to trust this person fully again. There is nothing your sister can really do except try to explain to him that she was hurt about him hiding that from her especially since it didn't matter to her, but his lying does matter to her. It is up to him to earn the trust back by stopping his lies and him opening up to her more. I wish there was an easy way for her to fix things but sadly there isn't. It is more up to him now to see if he will start being honest and respect their relationship. It will take time for him to earn it back. HUG for your sister = )Serious question about friends: Once a friend lies to you, how do you get the trust back?
I meant ';The Link';

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Forgive, Forget, or move on.
Well I didn't lie to a friend but I told someone something I shouldn't have. I regret it so badly but she forgave me and we are better friends now. I care deeply for this friend because in the couple months we have been friends there is so much more to talk about with her.

Only time can tell. I would tell her that he needs to earn it back and if he cares deeply about her then he will earn it back and will not lie to her again.
Bravo for you. You told her the absolute truth. Anything else would have been a lie. A lie to yourself and a lie to her and that could prove to be unrepairable. If a friend lies to you, they're not really friends, not now, not before, not ever. And that's that!
back in High School, i had a friend who was a compulsive liar and for most part the lies were harmless and we would just laugh at him (and not with him). we went to two different colleges and hung out a lot less after that, but i notice his lies more and more and they just infuriated me. he would say weird things like '; you know, i am enough native american that i could go to school for free'; another friend and i in unison said '; then do it.'; we were trying to be supportive but we both knew it was a lie. i think the last straw for me was when i was about to get my undergrad degree and he was telling he about to he was about to finish too, that was almost 5 years ago and i still don't know if he graduated. but once i figured out that he was always lying, our friendship was never the same and i always too what he said with a grain of salt. i really don't like liars... i got another story about a friend who we believe about lying about his sexual history but it is a long story. just email me if you really want to know.